... welcome to my life ...

Orchard Outing - 05.03.05

2005-03-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

Went out today with Zyzy and Raynie for a once-in-a-while-together outing to Orchard.. After waiting for Zyzy to come, we went to Far East Plaza to have our lunch.. I had Wanton Noodles with gravy. Ooohhh sedap I tell you.. But I can't finish it coz full already.. These days i don't eat much, hmm don't know why..

Then after filling up our stomachs, we went to play pool at Lucky Plaza.. No, no not that pool.. Not swimming pool.. You know that pool, as in billiard.. Hehehe.. Played for 2 hours, had lots of fun pushing those balls into those holes.. I'm not really that good at playing pool so I juz anyhow poke at those balls! And it went in! Score! Hehe.. Anyhow play lah.. Anyways we took pics for the outing so if u wanna see here it is!

Juz click on the link below! Enjoy!

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeANWrJu0bsXDgw&notag=1

Why I LOVE C H O C O L A T E S...

2005-03-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

15 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

1.You can GET chocolate.
2.Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
3.You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
4.You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
5.You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
6.Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
7.The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
8.You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
9.You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
10.With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
11.You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
12.You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
13.You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
14.When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
15.With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.

And yeah i love chocolates of all shapes, flavours and sizes! Hehe..
Cookies and cream, white chocolate, hazelnut chocolate preferred..

Song of the moment...

2005-02-28T14:08:00.000+08:00

One Last - Taufik Batisah

Never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

Chorus
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for a while and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
It's better if we just let it go

Every time I try to take a stand at all
I see your face again and I fall
In the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose
The smell of your perfume I suppose
But we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

Chorus

Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear....
So let's have

Chorus

We both know
It's better if we just let it go

We both know
It's better if we just let it go...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everytime I listen to this song, the lyrics made me think of someone I know before. Somehow, deep in my heart, I still like him. Even though he broke my heart the other time, I still like him. I can't forget him, really. But now, things have changed. He already have a girlfriend and it's quite impossible for us to get back together. I miss him. But there's nothing that I can do. So in this song, I'm asking you.

Can I have
One last kiss, One last touch, One last tender moment between us, One last dance to our first song, while pretending there's nothing wrong. Let's stay here for a while and cherish every moment we're in denial, we both know, It's better if we just let it go...

duN Eva2 toY w a gal'z FiLinZ...

2005-02-21T13:16:00.000+08:00

I got this from zyzy a friend, from Friendster.
I decided to put it here coz I find it very inspiring.
I hope u got inspired too from this.
Dedicated to all the guys who had been with me before.
Read this and think...
----------------------------------------------

Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind.
If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings.
Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.

Love her for who she is.
Don't even think about changing any bit about her.
6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities.
She's special & she will stay that way.
You change any part of her, you'll change her forever.
Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.

Love whole-heartedly.
She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treassure her.
She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love.
So love her guys, not play with her.
Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever.
If you're with her, love her.
Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all.
Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be.
I've been there & I know how it feels.
Don't expect perfection from her.

She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could.
Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her.
If you want her to tell you everything, do the same.
Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way?
Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single.
You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams.
Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.
It never kills to be romantic.
Think, be flexible.
Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you.
Something sweet & simple always get the job done.
Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.

Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day.
Love her as if each day is the last.
Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached guys.
Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity.
Remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her & make sure you never break it.
Swear to her & make sure you keep it.
Pledge your love to her & her alone.
Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to.
Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.
That's love.
Give her your heart, your life, your everything.
Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises.
But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life.
She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die.
It her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory.
Don't leave her once you've won her love.
Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise.
Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends". Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
Respect her for the way she is, never despise her & never mistreat her, never even think of toying with her.

In the mood for love...

2005-02-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. Lately I've been listening to lots of love songs on my pc.. I'm becoming more and more jiwang these days.. Hehe.. So I'm gonna share with ya'll one of my fav songs.. Here goes..

This is such a romantic song.. I love it..

Ucapkanlah (Erra Fazira/ Yusry)

P : Kadangkala ku rasa ingin luahkan segalanya
Rahsia yang tersimpan di dada sekian lama
Namun kelu terus membisu menatap wajah mu
Daku malu tapi tak mahu kehilangan mu

L / P : Ucapkanlah cinta
Ucapkan ku saja yang kau perlu setiap waktu
Sepanjang hayat mu
Ucapkan kau rindu
Daku yang kau mahu
Yang kau cari telah kau temui
Ku tidak tertahan lagi untuk mengaku ku cinta mu

L : Dan kadangkala kita hanya sedar keindahannya
Apabila ia sudah tiada di depan mata
Tidak rela ku lepaskan satu-satunya insan
Yang berikan ku segala makna kehidupan

L / P : Ucapkanlah cinta
Ucapkan ku saja yang kau perlu setiap waktu
Sepanjang hayat mu
Ucapkan kau rindu
Daku yang kau mahu
Yang kau cari telah kau temui
Ku tidak tertahan lagi untuk mengaku ku cinta mu

L : Andai daku kau terima lebih dari teman biasa
Daku kan setia tak ku benarkan kau berair mata

P : Andai kau terima cinta ku
Daku kan belaikan tangan mu
Di penghujung waktu kau dan aku di dunia

L / P : Ucapkanlah cinta
Ucapkan ku saja yang kau perlu setiap waktu
Sepanjang hayat mu
Ucapkan kau rindu
Daku yang kau mahu
Yang kau cari telah kau temui
Ku tidak tertahan lagi untuk mengaku ku cinta mu

Kau yang ku mahu
Ku cinta mu

Same old brand new me...

2005-02-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since I last blogged huh.. Hehe.. Well I doubt not many people dropped by here to take a peek though.. Anyway, I was too busy with work lately and don't have the time to sit in front of my pc for timeless hours.. Furthermore this stupid pc of mine have some probs with its Internet connection.. It keeps closing the Internet whenever I open a page.. Sheesh...

On to other things..

- I finally got over Azhar.
Yep the bloody idiot who made me lost over a ton of tears over the last few months. Somehow I got to realize that he's not cut out to be with me.. He's not that cute anyway.. (i know, i know I'm in denial.. so what?) But I can't deny that I still look at him whenever I saw him at work.. I tried smiling at him but no response from him so I don't want to keep on trying. What for? You want to make peace with the guy but he doesn't want to. So why bother? It's not like I owe him anything.. In fact, he owes me something..

- I'm gonna quit my job this coming 13 Feb.
Now, I'm really gonna miss everyone I know at Carrefour!! Sometimes, it's not the salary that makes u like your job.. For me, it's the place itself. It's the environment that I have grown to love over the past 1 year 3 months I've been there. It's the people whom I met there that makes me so comfortable working there.. I wish I could stay but it would be a waste if i can't make use of my Diploma. A cashier don't need to a Diploma holder alright? A lot of things happen to me there.. A hell lot of things.. The good, the bad, the sweet, the unforgettable.. How I'm gonna miss my friends there.. Some of them helped me get through the problems I had with a certain someone and I really appreciate their help and their time to get me through my probs.. Thanx guys.. You know who you are right..?

- I found a new friend... a guy friend some more
Yep.. hehe I always say to myself. Don't worry, if 1 guy leaves you, 10 guys will come at the click of a finger.. Well in my case, only 1 came.. Good enough right.. Better than none.. Hehe..
He's just a friend of mine, nothing special... yet. I knew him when he was in Carrefour. Yep, was. He left juz after 2 weeks of work and he says he finds it "boring" working there. Whatever dearie.. He's a nice guy, at least he's nice to me. I love guys who have a sense of humour in them, I juz love it coz u won't be bored when you're with them. Something is bound to happen. But his sense of humour is quite crude.. In other words, he can be dirty sometimes.. But I like it that way.. Heheh.. I can be evil if I want to k.. Haha.. I juz like being with him.. I guess he can be my best friend though, that's the 2nd best thing since he can't be a boyfriend..

- I still LOVE my Backstreets!!
Yeah! Hehe.. I'm sure all my friends would be bored of hearing me say this but I'm gonna say it anyway.. I LOVE MY BACKSTREET BOYS AND NO ONE CAN MAKE ME DISLIKE THEM. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. NOT EVEN NICK CARTER! Haha.. I'm still crazy over these 5 guys even after 8 years of listening to the same songs over and over and over again everyday.. Haiz.. Maybe this is what they say true love.. Haha.. true love.. yeah right.. I'm still waiting for their new CD which they promised about 2 yrs ago! Talk about being a true fan huh.. Wanna know more about my obsession? Come to my house and I'll show you what I mean..

Wow.. such a long entry.. Running out of ideas of what to write now.. Ok I'll leave you with a quote taken from the song Rise and Fall from Craig David feat Sting.. Enjoy!

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
And it seems as though the writings on the wall
Superstar you finally made it
But once your picture becomes tainted
It's what they call
The rise and fall...

Show me the meaning of being lonely...

2005-01-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could hear my heart just one more time
And even when I close my eyes, there's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise, you're a loss I can't replace

Soledad, it's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad, in my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad...
* Soledad - Westlife *

I still can't get over him.. In fact, I miss him more as days pass by.. It's been 2 weeks since he left me but I'm still trying to find an answer from him.. An explaination as to why he did this to me.. I'm not asking for a patch up, I know that's impossible.. I gotta be realistic about this.. But at least, I have the right to know what exactly happened between us.. I mean he can't come to me as and when he likes it.. He came to me for a reason and I want to know the reason why he left me..

Am I difficult to deal with? Am I too good for you? If I am, then why did you approach me in the 1st place? If I am difficult, why didn't u scold me and say that I'm difficult? Why...?

Azhar, I miss you.. I miss holding hands with you.. I miss getting kisses from you.. I miss hugging you.. I miss being with you.. I miss your voice.. I miss your jokes.. I miss you damn it!!!

I've been trying very hard, trying to get your attention, trying to talk to you and it hurts me so when you totally ignore me.. Please don't treat me like this.. I can't take it.. I've cried a river the day you broke my heart and now there's no more tears in me to replace the ones I lost..

If you really don't like me anymore, don't love me anymore, don't miss me anymore, at least please treat me like a normal friend, just like as you would others.. Jangan lah awak diamkan diri aje terhadap kita..

Indah terasa bila cinta tercipta
Memadu kasih janji bersama
Bersama-sama melafaz kata cinta
Gurau senda dan tawa berdua
Tapi kini semuanya kenangan
Kau pergi tanpa pesan

Mana janjimu yang kau lafazkan dulu
Hidup dan matimu bersamaku
Rela kau pegi walau hati disakiti
Biarkanlah aku sendiri
Airmata menjadi penawar
Akanku simpan semua jadi kenangan

Pergilah kasih, pergilah sayang
Tinggalkan aku (pergilah sayang)
Biarkan saja kenangan berlalu
Antara kau dan aku
Pergilah sayang
*Ella & Korie - Pergilah Sayang*

Memories are made of these..

2005-01-03T08:36:00.000+08:00

Even though he is no longer with me, he will always be in my thoughts.. And so I decided to type out all the smses he ever gave me for keepsake so that I can relish back the moments we had together even though they were short lived..

This is in memory of our relationship..

Sms received by him:

* Minta ampun minta maaf dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki.. I'm a bad bf, a lousy one, sori syg..

* Aww, imagine nick singing dat to u.. holding ur hand, watching the sunset, at the beach, cold breeze.. lalala, n i cum punch him n sing to u pulak.. hehe..

* Gotcha! haha, oh cd nick pecah risau, kiter ckp kiter penat uat bodo. hehe, ni mcm punya org pun ada. muah, luv ya!

* Aww, i miss u too darling! MUACKS! thousand kisses to u! go rest dear k! luv ya!

* Dah tdo syg? hehe.. nytez.. sweet baby!

* Hah, sum people jz born lucky, wat the hell, make me so jealous but me lucky too, me hv u! hehe muah!

* Me reali luv ya.. sweet dreamz nyte2 syg!

* Haha, secret admirer konon. lu bole rilek sudah doke. hehe, luv u dear, btw me da kat ct hall!

* Nk demm eh syg, k boleh, gi rest k dear, me nw ngah siap2 nk alik.. luv u dear! muah, a peck to mk u beta.. dada..

* K, guess both o us beta get a rest k.. me stil over the moon bout 2dae, meet ibu, first tym go gal hse, first tym sound gal face 2 face, n feel so loved! i luv u loads, sweet dreamz..

* It hurts reading dat, i truly luv u.. It wil be done, i'll get it dun..
:( sori syg!

* Jealous tandanye sayang doke.. hehe, dear im reali fallin in luv wit u more n more n i hv yet to get an ans frm u, hehe, tu pasal kiter nervous ti mon

* It feelz gd when sum1 miss u, it feelz special when sum1 rememberz u, but it feelz wonderful when sum1 neva 4getz u, LuV Ya!

* :) if we true to each other i dun c y der isnt a possibility 4 us to b 2gether 4eva.. im in luv wit sum1 sweet n special n i feel tis is a beginin to a beatiful relationship.. luv u sayang.. reali do!
( i really feel so sad everytime i read this msg.. i thought he meant wat he said..)

* Awak, memang pelik sal tetiba kita dua begini pi kiter tau biler kita sayang seseorang.. :) gud nyte sayang, muack! luv ya..

* Kiter nk tanyer.. awak sudi? jadi teman hidup azhar... :)

* Hehe.. :) kiter tertarik ar dengan lemah lembut awak, cara awak melayan kiter, iyer kiter sukakan awak, pi kiter tau kiter ni tonggang tebalik, tepuk sebelah tangan tk bebunyi shikin.. shikin lak?

* Gud nyte syikin.. c u at werk.. :) 'Azhar'...
(He's first msg to me ever..)

Azhar, if u ever come to this page, I juz wanna let u know that I care for you and even if we are not meant for each other, I hope we can still be friends like before. Thanx for the nice times u've given me and I'll cherish those moments spending with you..

SIMPLE BYE MAKE U CRY
SIMPLE JOKE MAKE U LAUGH
SIMPLE CARE MAKES U FALL IN LOVE
SIMPLE TOUCH MAKES U FEEL BETTER
I HOPE MY SIMPLE PRESENCE
MAKES U SMILE...

So much for my happy ending, meraung buat kali kedua..

2004-12-30T13:06:00.000+08:00

I should have known from the start.. He didn't love me at all.. It was all lies.. All freaking lies.. How could he do this to me? How could he have the heart to do all this to me? He knew that I'm the soft type, why must he crush my heart to bits and pieces? Why can't he be truthful towards me and tell me that he's juz playing around with me? Why give me hope? Why give me false love? Why? Why??

I should have known from the time that he say he can't use his hp anymore.. I believed him when he say he can't use his hp becoz he didn't pay his bills. I believed him when he say he wants to help his aunt paint the house. I believed him when he say he don't have money in his ezlink card to send me home. I freaking believe him all that he said. In the end, all my efforts are wasted on him.. He played me out, he played me out real good.. In my previous post, I was right. He didn't have time for another addition to his life - me. He was too busy with his other friends to be with me. If he was given a choice, he would rather choose his friends rather than me. His friends who nearly destroyed him. I don't know what's up with this freaking guy. One time he was smooching me, the next kicking me out like I was some freaking rubbish.

I went to Siddiq's bbq/chalet yesterday at Costa Sands at Pasir Ris. I went there juz because I wanted to see him coz I haven't seen him for a few days. And guess what, he didn't even greet me! He greeted Nadia who was juz next to me and he freaking ignored me completely like I wasn't there! Pretty obvious ain't it? I gave him some time and waited for him to come to me and said hi but he didn't. He went around the house, half naked doing his own stuff, walked here walked there.. And he didn't even want to see me.. What's more surprising is his friends greeted me.. At that moment, I knew surely there must be something wrong so I went in and tapped his shoulder to ask him out. I waited outside and he didn't came out. Then when I came in again, he was already drunk.. What can I do? He promised me he won't drink on that day but he did. He jolly well did freaking drink and got freaking drunk.. Azhar why did you do this to me? I never scolded u before and I won't scold u even if u want to drink.. Go ahead and drink for all I care but why must u lie to me? Why Azhar??

Then Siddiq call all of us in to sing him Happy birthday and see him cut his cake.. I didn't go in, I stayed at the door instead. After singing, then suddenly Azhar started vomitting coz he drank too much.. At that time, I juz cannot take it anymore and ran away from there to the other corner, sat down and cried out.. He was in such a sorry state and I can't bear to see him like that.. I felt pity for him and my heart goes out to him. But he didn't know that I still cared for him. Farzi was the first to notice me run away, and when he say "What happen Shikin?" I juz broke down and cry my heart out.. He called Nadia over and she consoled me.. She knew what happen and she juz sat there with me..

Our stead is the same as our break up - sudden. So now I know, sudden stead = sudden break up. I don't even know the reason why he broke up with me.. Why must he freaking break up with me? Why? Dear why must u do this to me dear? I miss u a lot, I love u lot, I care u a lot, why must u leave me like that? I hate being left alone like that, I'd rather u break up with me straight up in my face rather than behind my back.. I rela u buang I, tapi kenapa u buang I mcm gini? U are no different from Sofian coz he did the same freaking thing to me and now u also.

My heart is breaking, my mind is whirling around in my head. Why must all the guys do this to me? If u want to play around with me, could u please juz freaking tell me!! I can play around with u too.. No problem on that.. I'm tired of typing now.. I have lots to tell but I'm juz too tired to do it now.

After what Azhar did to me, I promised myself that I won't have anymore boyfriends unless he really really meant it. If I don't get married also, it's fine with me. It's just my luck. Kalau aku tak kahwin pon takpe. Aku lebih rela tak kahwin daripada ditipu oleh jantan2 ni semua..

Missing Azhar very much..

2004-12-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

Been at least a week since he last sms-ed or called me.. I miss his smses and hearing his voice through the speakers of my handphone.. Miss laughing at his jokes even if the jokes are stupid.. Miss going out with him, holding hands, him hugging me, giving me small pecks on the cheeks.. It's not that he forgotten about me.. He told me he can't use his handphone for the moment and he doesn't have any other means to contact me.. Furthermore, he's busy with school now.. So now he's doubly busy, with school and with work.. So I wonder, if he can manage with another addition to his already busy schedule - me?

I don't know how to say this but I'll try my best to say what I wanna say.. To be really honest, I didn't like him at the beginning. I don't even have a crush on him.. I just treat him like a normal friend, like any other guy I've seen at my workplace, nothing special really.. But lately, I noticed that he liked to talk to me.. Before we got together, out of the blue, he will call my name and when I ask what he wants, he says nothing just feel like calling.. Maybe that's his way of getting my attention, only I didn't notice it..

But after one fateful Hari Raya outing with my Carrefour friends, everything changes.. My feelings towards him drastically change.. It started from the time when Farzi went to pick him up at Tampines, to the moment he stepped into the van, to the moment he sat beside me, to the moment he let me lay my head on his shoulders, my heart totally flipped and I started to like him and eventually kinda love him.. Come to think of it, it's a very funny way to fall in love with someone but you know what, things just happened and for me that's what happened.. I don't know what it is that makes me attracted to him.. But I know that he's a nice guy. He gave me lots of loving smses.. In a way, he's a charming prince in disguise.. He may not look charming on the outside but on the inside you'll never know unless u know him very very well..

One of the sms that he gave me reads:
"Kiter nak tanyer, awak sudi? jadi teman hidup azhar... :) "
That is the sweetest thing he ever ask me and guess what I replied..
"Kalau kita tak suka kat awak, kita kasi ke awak pegang kita?"
which means I accept him! hehe..
But the sweetest thing he ever done for me is this:
Went to my house, with his heart beating very fast and hands shivering, asked me out to go to Suntec City.. Took me to the top of Suntec, sat in a sort of garden, took my hands and said face to face, "Kita sayang awak.. Awak sudi jadi teman hidup kita?" .. and kissed me for what feels like 5 mins.. I virtually melted there and then.. I said I accept you and he kiss me again.. I love that moment.. Wish I can have it again.. hehe.. Took him a lot of balls, erm should I say guts, to say that to me.. Then he sent me home feeling really happy...

AND THAT'S WHY I MISS HIM SO...

New layout... again!

2004-12-23T13:58:00.000+08:00

Yay!! I got a new layout! hehe.. actually it's still the same, only that I change the pic above to a bsb pic! haha.. finally i got a bsb layout! hehe.. so happy, I made that pic myself u know.. nice huh... hope ya like it!

My Singapore Idol

2004-12-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

Even though THE Singapore Idol is Taufik Batisah, my Singapore Idol will always be Sylvester "Sly" Sim.. Cos he's soo cute! Hehe... Go Sly!

My Singapore Idol - Sylvester "Sly"

Hmm.. But come to think of it.. I like Taufik Batisah more now! Heheh.. Sorry Sly! Luv ya Taufik!

Introducing Mr Nickolas Carter...

2004-12-14T13:03:00.000+08:00

Oh my god.... Now u tell me why can't I be crazy about this guy..?
He looks absolutely gorgeous... I luv his hair... hehe..
Oh Nicky.. I love you.. Really.. *melts looking at Nicky*

Song dedicated to my lovable Azhar...

2004-12-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

This song is dedicated to the boy whom I suddenly like..
This is for you.. It describes how I feel about you now..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Soal Hati

Kau hanya wajah biasa di mataku
Pasti lenyap sederas tibamu
Tak perlu aku memikirkan mu selalu

Kau tiba pada waktu tak terduga
Dalam mimpi dan di dalam jaga
Sehingga aku bukan diriku yang dulu

Soalnya hati, sukar di mengerti
Apa terjadi di luar kawalan diri
Entah mengapa sejak bersua
Aku dilanda resah
Kau mewarnai mimpiku
Ku dalam igauan rindu

Kau yang biasa kini istimewa
Engkau membuat hidupku berubah
Yang ku cari-cari selama ini
Telah ku temui...

Soalnya hati, sukar di mengerti
Apa terjadi di luar kawalan diri
Entah mengapa sejak bersua
Aku dilanda resah

Kau mewarnai mimpiku
Ku dalam igauan

Apa terjadi di luar kawalan diri
Entah mengapa sejak bersua
Aku dilanda resah

Kau mewarnai hidup ku
Ku dalam igauan (ku dalam igauan)
Ku dalam igauan (ku dalam igauan)

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Hope ya like it!
hehehe... :)

new layout!

2004-12-06T09:47:00.000+08:00

Hi!! Been a long time since I updated this blog... Doesn't seem to have anything interesting to add on huh.. Well.. this isn't exactly the layout that I wanted it to be.. I wanted a Backstreet layout but after a few tries I give up configuring the layout coz I'm not familiar with this Blogger thingy.. It's much harder than doing a website..

Hmm.. now I lost my Johhny Depp to this blueish layout... Johnny.. where are you?? Hehe.. Ok I got to go now.. Going out soon with my family.. So see ya laterz!

When I have something meaningful to write down, I'll share it with ya ok? Hehe... :)

Selamat Hari Raya!

2004-11-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today is the 2nd day of Hari Raya and it turns out to be a more tiring day compared to yesterday.. Me and my family went to only 3 houses yesterday: my grandma's house in the morning, granpa's house in the afternoon and my uncle's house in the evening.. So yesterday wasn't so bad..

I still get some green packets though, mostly from my grandparents and uncles and aunties.. At 1st they say, I working already cannot get money, but then they say never mind lah as long as I haven't yet married they still give.. It was fun going out Raya together.. We move around visiting relatives in 4 cars! Just imagine the number of people we had.. But I guess my youngest sis and her nieces & nephews enjoyed Raya the most.. Since there were 4 cars, they get to change cars everytime we wanted to go to another house.. How nice it will be if I were given the chance to be a kid again.. I would have a lot of fun playing and not having a care about anything at all.. I wouldn't have to think about "grown up" things then..

Oh well, back to topic.. Oh ya, today was a tired day.. We went out at 11am and came back at 10pm.. I think we went to about 5-6 houses or so.. I'm not sure but I do know that in every house I went to, I get to catch forty winks for a while.. Don't know why I feel so tired.. Haiz, and I have to go back to work tomorrow! Morning shift some more.. Hmm, still thinking whether to go work or to take mc.. hehe.. ok lah nothing much happened so there's really nothing much to tell.. Anyway, I feel sleepy already, gonna go to bed now.. BYE!!

Thinking about Sofian..

2004-11-14T19:00:00.000+08:00

I juz finish looking at my fren's blog (Nadia) and I must say that it's a nice little cosy place.. And as I started reading through her articles, she sure got a lot of pics in there.. and as they say, a picture's worth a thousand words.. From those pics, I can tell that she's a very happy gal coz she got a lot of frens who are close to her and furthermore she even have a loving boyfren.. I envy her.. Not jealous, just plain envy..

Well, I too used to have a boyfren.. Yeah, used to. We broke up just last month and I got to admit I still keep thinking about him and I miss him a lot, damn a lot.. Why he suddenly left me, that's still the question.. Till this day, I don't know why.. I had a very memorable time when I was with him though..

I remembered our 1st month anniversary.. What we did, where we went, what we ate, eveything.. Everything is still fresh in my mind, like it happened juz yesterday.. I finished work at 6pm that day and he came to my workplace to pick me up. By the way, we worked at the same place so I get to see him everyday.. And then, I had basic theory test for my driving lesson at Comfort Centre.. He waited 1 hour for me there without even complaining anything.. At around 8pm, as we were walking back to Eunos mrt, he asked me where I want to go to eat.. I said any place is fine with me but he said since it's our anniversary he wanted to bring me to a special place.. And guess what, he chose Swensens.. I was quite surprised he chose that place coz I know that place is a tad expensive for me.. I really dun mind if we juz went to a kopitiam or something like that.. But he insisted on bringing me to Swensens.. He said, "Alah sayang, nari kan anniversary kita.. Mestilah I nak bawak you kat tempat special.." And so we settled on the Swensens beside Tampines mrt.. It was my first and only time going to Swensens and it's such a nice feeling having someone bringing you to a place like that on a special occasion.. I ordered fish & chips and he ordered baked pasta or rice, I'm not sure.. And he ordered a lot of other things too including desserts.. And the whole bill came up to $65.00! That's quite steep isn't it? I wanted to offer to pay half but he said never mind he can settle it.. After eating, he sent me home right up to my lift void deck.. We say our goodbyes and he kissed me on both cheeks.. I tell you it's like heaven getting a kiss from him.. Sighs.. I miss him very very much..

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT?!

I was with him for only 2 1/2 months.. Others might think that it's a short while, I can easily forget him.. Well, they are very wrong.. I still think about him and I still like him.. Maybe I've lost my love for him but if he were to come back to me, I can love him again.. There's something about this guy that I juz can't forget.. He's not my 1st boyfren anyway.. Usually, when I broke up with a guy, I could forget him and get on with my life and find another.. But not with this guy.. I don't know why either.. What is it that makes me so attracted to him anyway? Probably because he's the only guy who made the effort to make me happy everytime we're together and at least he tried to love me.. I know he loved me once, if he didn't he wouldn't even want to be with me in the 1st place.. Or is it because he's juz way too cute for me that I can't resist him..? Hmm.. but come to think of it he's not that cute anyway.. I don't know.. Maybe because of the wonderful memories that we shared, that's why I miss him very much and I can't forget him.. To make things worse, I have to see him everyday because we worked at the same place.. I have to pass by his department to go down to my department via the cargo lift.. Now u tell me how can I forget him..?

Now we didn't talk to each other anymore and that makes me feel worse.. It's not that I don't wanna talk to him, it's him who don't wanna talk to me.. Either it's because he feel guilty leaving me like that or he simply had a change of heart and doesn't love me anymore.. It's amazing how some people can change their feelings overnight huh.. Ok enough of talking about him.. The more I talk, the more I will think of him.. I'll go get some rest and try not to think of him too much or else I'll go crazy.. literally..

a song for Sofian..

2004-11-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

This song is dedicated to my ex guy, Sofian, if he ever tumbled across this page..
This is for you dear..

Meraung - Newboyz

Menggigil tubuh ini
Melihat kau bersamanya
Tergamam aku tak terkata
Meraung di jiwa

Puas ku pertahankan
Cinta kita sejak dulu
Tapi sayang
Sikit pun tidak
Menghargai cintaku

( korus )
Sia-sia saja
Pengorbanan dan kesetiaanku ini
Ku sangka kau permata
Rupanya duri paling berbisa

Ku pasrah dan berdoa
Semoga tabah jiwaku
Oh... tetapi bagaimana
Nak ku bawa
Jiwa yang siksa

Ke mana arah hendak ku tuju
Bila hatiku rindu padamu
Hendakku cari tapi tak guna
Kau bahagia dengan si dia

Dikamar sepi aku termenung
Terbayang bayang kenangan kita
Tidak ku sangka kau
Tergamak pergi
Saat ku masih perlukan mu

( ulang korus )

Ah...ah...ah...
Ah...ah...ah...

Meraung di jiwa
Apalah daya kiranya
Orang dah benci

Ah...ah...ah...
Ah...ah...ah...

Meraung di jiwa
Tapi tak pernah ku benci
Dirimu sayang

Just so u know dear, I never hated u..
In fact I still love you..

random ramblings...

2004-11-10T07:52:00.000+08:00

How do you like my layout? Pretty ain't it?
I love this guy man.. He look so sexy... hehe.. never thought a pirate could be this sexy.. I love his eyes, can't stop staring at them..

Oh well... So much for my fantasy..

Since it's the 1st time I'm blogging, might as well intro myself here..
Aite here goes..
name Shikin
how old 21
working Carrefour Singapore
likes guys.. hehe obviously.. surfing Net, music, boybands...
luvs Backstreet Boys, Nickolas Carter, Johnny Depp haha.. in my dream world again..

I don't know what else to say so as time goes by, u'll get to know more about me..

I'm not good at writing things up coz I don't have anything to write about.. Hmm mayb when I have material, I'll write it down aite...